Saturday, July 7, 2012

#64- Apologetics

I didn't know what apologetics was at the time but I wanted to defend god from what I was learning. At this time in my life I had been exposed to "Fossilized Customs" and I think I had read the entire New Testament.  I had doubt, reservations, and questions about the religion that I accepted and the Bible.  I had issues with the nature of truth overall.  I may have taken philosophy at school around this time as well.

The time had come to make the decision to take the Great Commission seriously.  I had read the command for myself and if I was going to call myself a follower of Jesus then I would spread the Gospel.  Very few of my peers cared about religion beyond the socially required routines and certainly did not take the Great Commission as far as I knew.

During that time our Sunday School had secured these comic book versions of the New Testament that was the latest attempt to engage and motivate the pupils to learn.  Also at that time there was a call for volunteers for people to talk to strangers around the church about Jesus.  This was my opportunity to practiced the Great Commission.  I did not do it.  I could not do it.  I had what I can only describe as an "allergic" reaction to the thought of me proselytizing.  I remembered the book "Things Fall Apart" and the history of the "New World" and I did not want to tell people about Jesus.

I wondered what I would do if someone I met knew of the evil that is in the Bible.  I already consulted with my pastor and his answers were not satisfactory.  That is when I decided to appoint myself as defender of god by learning as much of what I could about what an objector of the Bible may tell me.  In other words I was entering apologetics unwittingly.

I started with the contradictions in the Bible.  I landed in a Muslim site of all places. I examined every single claim brought forth.  Some of them I knew others I didn't.  Everyone was accurate.  I asked my Sunday School teachers to verify my work and they either did not want to or dismissed the work.  I looked for more problems in the Bible and found more.  I studied and verified as best as I could.  At the end, the Bible was found to be evermore defective then I could ever imagine.

I was distraught.  I was bewildered not because I was a fundamentalist but because I wondered how all these problems could not have been detected and corrected by this time.  I could not be a defender for a guilty party.

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