|I learned that men and dinosaurs did not exist at the same time in school. The Bible fails to mention dinosaurs in the creation story.|
During my tour of churches I went to a place where they played a dystopian movie that freaked me out. It was all about the end of time Bible-style. It was the first time I encounter notions like "Anti-Christ", "mark of the Beast", and "rapture". There was a feel that these events were either happening now or would soon happen. Even worst is that we couldn't do anything about them or that these things were supposed to happen in order to Jesus to come in the last minute to make it alright.
At this point in my life I was a believer in God by default because of the exposure given to me by my uncle in Haiti. I liked the idea of an all loving god and could accept the notion of an evil counterpart who was always player-hating on the good people. Duality permeated the movies and writings of people so I thought nothing of it. Not to mention that since it came from my beloved uncle it was good as true. I felt that my uncle knew it all and that he would not intentionally mislead me.
All I knew was that God was the ultimate good and was a friend and protector of those who did good deeds. I was a good person so I had no fears or problems.
Pastor George was the first person to shove Jesus down my throat. I never thought about why people were obsessed with Jesus when it was obvious that God superseded him. Pastor George emphasized that I had to accept Jesus as my "Lord and Savior" in order to go the heaven.
My thoughts were as follows:
|Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.|
2. I knew all about God from my uncle.
3. Jesus? You mean that white man that Malcolm dissed in jail?
4. There was no way for God to be "good" and send me to "hell" at the same time.
5. Damn this guy is pushy about his Jesusness.
The damage was done. I started to imagine Jesus as a poor victim of circumstance. I heard about the common descriptions of Jesus and I started to see him as a good guy in the cosmic war of Good vs. Evil.