Saturday, September 24, 2011

#3- The Good, The Bad, The Dezod

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!. . . But He loves you!

Church Service

If there is one man that I worshiped it is my beloved Mon Oncle "Manno" (Uncle Manno).  He took great care and even though he whooped my ass when I did wrong I never doubted that he loved me.

One Sunday I went to a Catholic Mass service with my uncle.  I remember being in total awe of the church.  The stain glass art was arresting and the church exuded a calm awe.  My uncle was Catholic which was unbeknownst my me.  I remember looking into his face as he bowed his head and meditated.  I can see there was a sincere search going on in his mind.  His face also showed pain and I was sensitive to that.  He explained to me the notion go "Bon Dieu" (Good God or God), "Satan", and "Péché" (sin) and that this Bon Dieu was benevolent and omnipresent.  The notion of God that stuck in my head from that day on is the notion that God was pure good and that the Devil is pure evil.  It was a pretty simple concept to grasp.  He said that Bon Dieu is always watching over me and is aware of when I was doing "dezod" (mischief).

I was alarmed because I was always doing dezod.  I didn't know it back then but I was just being a normal, curious boy but my kinsmen made it seem like I was worst than I really was.

Holy Cracker

Around the time I was I was processing this fascinating and alarming information my beloved uncle announced that he would be eating the white waffle offered to the believers.  I followed him and got in line.  He warned me to make sure that I knew I was free from sin or else there would be dire consequences.  

Can you imagine having to run through all the dezod I have done that week all in a matter of minutes while the procession was heading towards that priest?  I had to make a hasty decision on whether or not to take the "Holy Cracker" or not.  I had a vision of the cracker turning into a sharp razor blade and cutting my throat because I was indeed sinful according to the invisible Bon Dieu who was able to see all my deeds.

This stressed me greatly.  I ended up taking the cracker and I felt even more guilty because I enjoyed the way the wafer melted in my mouth.  I wanted more but I knew that would make me look greedy.

My uncle and his first born in Haiti
This is the event that planted the seeds of the concepts of sin, God, Devil, and omnipresence in my tender yet critical mind.

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